motherhood

I think when it comes to our children, it's safe to say that we always want the absolute best for them. We're also probably hardest on ourselves when we lose our patience or get overwhelmed. It's easy to concentrate on all the things I have done "wrong" rather than focus on the good that I have accomplished.

I think some people consider me a "tough" mom. I have expectations for my children, and they have to face consequences (good or bad). I make them clean their rooms everyday, they have to help out with dishes and laundry, they don't receive an allowance, and they don't get to choose to not help. I try to teach them that we are a family, through thick or thin, and that includes things like dishes and feeding the dog and taking the trash out. Of course, they are children and don't particularly like doing chores (unless it's scrubbing the toilets or Windex-ing the mirrors and windows, and then they all are volunteering and fighting over who gets to do it) and so we do have occasional tantrums or attitudes of not wanting to do the job, but I think on the whole, my kids do a GREAT job of helping where they're needed. And I try to make sure I am pointing out those jobs well done, though I am sure I could do better in that regard.

Also having children as close together as we do brings challenges. I think I say "Please stop fighting" about 27 times a day, and inevitably, someone hits or pushes their brother or sister, and tears ensue. Some days I reach my boiling point and my patience runs low. I have to remind myself that this too shall pass, and it's really normal for siblings to fight. (And I'm not talking about like fist fights, but fighting over toys, or "she took my doll", or "he's looking at me", or "she's making a noise that's anoooooying"...) However, some days I DO feel like all my kids do is fight all day long. And those are the days that I'm hardest perhaps on myself, wondering how I've failed my children, that they can't get through 5 minutes without SOMEONE fighting. But after I've had a chance to calm down, I can see the "real" problem (most likely, they're bored!) and can help make a difference.

This week, I've been trying to take more note on the GOOD things. And I haven't been disappointed! As crazy and busy as my kids can be, they can also be so incredibly loving and kind. And these tender moments remind me that these are precious spirits whom I have been SO incredibly blessed to be entrusted with. I feel my Heavenly Father's love for me through these wonderful kids.

Yesterday for lunch, I took David and Lindsey to Chick-fil-A. We ate our lunch, and then I got ice cream for them as a treat. David wanted a cone, and I got Linds a cup because I knew she wouldn't eat it fast enough and it would be a big mess. But of course, once we got to the table, she was sad that she didn't have a cone. Now, it seems silly, but not only is ice cream a pretty big deal because we don't have it often, but having a cone is a big deal too, as we usually just get them cups. So when David offered his cone to Lindsey, I was shocked! And it wasn't one of the cases where he offers something up and then 2 minutes later, decides he wants it back. He handed over his cone to her, and happily ate her cup of ice cream, not complaining once about it.

Then last night, as we were celebrating my birthday, we were getting ready for the cake and blowing out candles. Alexis wanted to sit by me, but of course it was Haley's seat and she wanted to sit there herself. At first, I thought to myself "Oh great, here comes another round of fighting". But, it turned out not to be. When Haley saw Alexis being sad about it, she offered her chair up, and then of course David wanted to sit by me, and Alexis said, "no he wants to sit there", and then David decided he wanted to share, and offered to let her sit by him, but then when that didn't work, he moved and went and sat on the other side, and then each kid is trying to solve the problem so that somehow they ALL could sit by me. And it touched me that my kids were all trying to find a way for everyone to be happy with the outcome. That was a nice birthday present right there!

There are numerous examples like these, and I need to recognize them more, rather than concentrating on the arguing and fighting. I have great kids. What has surprised me most about Motherhood is not how much I could possibly love these rascals, but how much I learn from them. While I think we always have room for improvement, I think I'm doing a pretty good job with them. They are my world, and I love them so much.