the frustration of 2

I have the hardest time with 2. (the age). The temper tantrums and potty training and learning to speak and all of that is FRUSTRATING. I know it's frustrating for the kid too, so I try to keep that in mind but lately I feel like I have to anticipate EVERYTHING for David or else suffer a massive meltdown. And it's exhausting.
This morning we were a little on the late side (well not late, but we had to rush a little more) and David couldn't find anything to wear that matched his brother (sometimes he's insistent on that). He also insists on dressing himself. Time was running short, and although he had gotten dressed, he didn't have his shoes on or his coat. So I had to just do it for him quickly so we weren't late for school. Thus begun the meltdown. Once the coat and shoes were on, I had to carry him to the car kicking and screaming. He of course was all worked up and wouldn't put on his buckle (another thing he usually insists on doing). So when I had to do it for him, he got even more upset. He cried and screamed all the way to the school and home again. Where he got mad at me for opening the van and unbuckling him (even tho he can't unbuckle himself).
Granted I know things do usually go smoother when we're not rushed, but even then if something sets him off, he gets so mad. And it just melts down. I get so frustrated by the degree of meltdown he's been having lately.
But you know, when he wants to be sweet, he just makes me melt. He can be such a sweet caring guy. I know we'll get through this stage, but can it be today?