Thankfuls everyday keep the woes away

Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself about something, and start feeling like "woe is me", I try to remember some very sound advice I once received.

When I was pregnant with Lindsey, as I neared my due date, I was, like most pregnant women, READY. I was ready see my feet again, ready to sleep on my stomach, ready to eat without having heartburn, all those things. I wanted my baby in my arms instead of inside me. I'd never gone overdue with any of my other babies. Alexis came 3 days early, and the other 3 I was induced either a few days before, or on their due date. I just naturally assumed that Lindsey would be the same. Induced right around her due date.
So, the week before I was due, I went in for my prenatal visit, hoping it would be my last. Much to my dismay, it wasn't. My doctor was going to be out of town the next week, and my cervix was not favorable to be induced yet, so we scheduled a tentative induction for 2 weeks later, a week over due. But my doctor was optimistic and he said he really didn't think that I would make to that date. It was, afterall my 5th baby!

When I left his office and got in my car, the flood gates opened. It seemed like an eternity away, 2 more weeks. I cried as I told my husband that we'd have to wait another 2 weeks, and I cried some more when I called to tell my mom. (I blame some of it on pregnancy hormones.) The response I got from my mom was not what I expected. She said, "But at least you get to have the baby...Think about those you don't get to..." She also said that maybe I could think of ways to serve others, and that it would help the time go by faster. My first reaction was "ugh, I wanted sympathy!!" But I got over that quickly and realized how selfish I was being, and how precious the gift of this baby is, and waiting another two weeks was not going to kill me. I started thinking about all the reasons I had to be thankful, and tried to do things for others, and it totally changed my outlook.

I did make it to my next appointment, two weeks later, much to my dr's surprise, and even made it a couple more days to my induction. But once I changed my attitude, and focused on what I have to be thankful for, it was easy. It just wasn't important to me, how long I had to wait after that.

Since then, off and on when I've found myself feeling sorry for myself again, I think about this experience, and find reasons to be thankful again, and find my attitude changes and I think less of myself and more of others. So I find myself continually trying to be always thankful.

Cyber-friend (now IRL TOO!)

When I got pregnant with Haley, I joined an online messageboard for women expecting babies the same month as me. It was neat to be able to talk to other women who were going through similar things, and just having that friendship. We grew to become a close bunch of friends as we prepared for celebrated the births of our babies. The years have passed, our group has gotten a little smaller and we now talk on a private messageboard. Our babies that brought us all together are turning 6. We've been together through good and bad times. We've celebrated with each other for special occasions, and been a shoulder to lean on when someone needed it. We've welcomed new babies into our group as some of us have added to our families, and we've cried as some of us lost dear loved ones. This little group is like a second family to me.
It's from this group that I met my friend Mikki. We went from talking on our board to emailing each other, and then talking via IM or text messages, and then talking on the phone, and our friendship has become even closer. This past weekend, Mikki came to visit and we got to meet in real life for the first time. It's honestly like we've known each other our whole lives. I think I was a little nervous because I am initially a very shy person when I first meet someone. I worried that maybe there would be some awkward silences, but there really wasn't. She laughed right along with me as I took my first (of several) wrong turns as we left the Atlanta airport.
I didn't realize how much I must talk about her until this visit because my kids were really excited to meet Mikki as well. I thought they might be a little shy as sometimes kids can be around new people, but they weren't at all! Robby and Lexi were saying yesterday evening "I wish Mikki didn't have to go home, I wish she could stay here forever....I love Mikki." It was really sweet to see how they took her just as I did!
As it always happens, the weekend flew by all too fast and we found ourselves driving back to the airport today to say our "See you laters" (I hate goodbyes). David told me as we pulled away that he was sad. I was sad too. But we're already working on the "next time" we'll get to see each other. :)

Making life easier

Years ago, I heard someone say (or maybe it was something I read) that when it comes to keeping up with your house, if there's something that makes a job easier, tho it might cost a little extra, USE it (or do it, etc). I believe the example they gave was the bathtub and a using a product that will do the "scrubbing" work for you. I'm butchering the example, but hopefully you get the idea. Sometimes in order to take care of everything we do, we have to take shortcuts.

So that got me thinking. I wonder if all my fellow mom-friends have something that they do to make life just a little bit easier. My "guilty-pleasure" if you will, is paper plates. Yes, I admit it, we buy them regularly. It's built into my grocery budget.

Washing dishes isn't a big deal (ESPECIALLY with a dishwasher), but I will admit that being able to just throw away the plates after dinner, it just makes my life that much easier. So while I do hate how much waste it is, and sometimes feel disgusted by that thought, I enjoy using paper plates.

Don't worry, if you're ever over for dinner, I promise we'll dust off the dishes and use the real stuff for you. Maybe. ;0)

motherhood

I think when it comes to our children, it's safe to say that we always want the absolute best for them. We're also probably hardest on ourselves when we lose our patience or get overwhelmed. It's easy to concentrate on all the things I have done "wrong" rather than focus on the good that I have accomplished.

I think some people consider me a "tough" mom. I have expectations for my children, and they have to face consequences (good or bad). I make them clean their rooms everyday, they have to help out with dishes and laundry, they don't receive an allowance, and they don't get to choose to not help. I try to teach them that we are a family, through thick or thin, and that includes things like dishes and feeding the dog and taking the trash out. Of course, they are children and don't particularly like doing chores (unless it's scrubbing the toilets or Windex-ing the mirrors and windows, and then they all are volunteering and fighting over who gets to do it) and so we do have occasional tantrums or attitudes of not wanting to do the job, but I think on the whole, my kids do a GREAT job of helping where they're needed. And I try to make sure I am pointing out those jobs well done, though I am sure I could do better in that regard.

Also having children as close together as we do brings challenges. I think I say "Please stop fighting" about 27 times a day, and inevitably, someone hits or pushes their brother or sister, and tears ensue. Some days I reach my boiling point and my patience runs low. I have to remind myself that this too shall pass, and it's really normal for siblings to fight. (And I'm not talking about like fist fights, but fighting over toys, or "she took my doll", or "he's looking at me", or "she's making a noise that's anoooooying"...) However, some days I DO feel like all my kids do is fight all day long. And those are the days that I'm hardest perhaps on myself, wondering how I've failed my children, that they can't get through 5 minutes without SOMEONE fighting. But after I've had a chance to calm down, I can see the "real" problem (most likely, they're bored!) and can help make a difference.

This week, I've been trying to take more note on the GOOD things. And I haven't been disappointed! As crazy and busy as my kids can be, they can also be so incredibly loving and kind. And these tender moments remind me that these are precious spirits whom I have been SO incredibly blessed to be entrusted with. I feel my Heavenly Father's love for me through these wonderful kids.

Yesterday for lunch, I took David and Lindsey to Chick-fil-A. We ate our lunch, and then I got ice cream for them as a treat. David wanted a cone, and I got Linds a cup because I knew she wouldn't eat it fast enough and it would be a big mess. But of course, once we got to the table, she was sad that she didn't have a cone. Now, it seems silly, but not only is ice cream a pretty big deal because we don't have it often, but having a cone is a big deal too, as we usually just get them cups. So when David offered his cone to Lindsey, I was shocked! And it wasn't one of the cases where he offers something up and then 2 minutes later, decides he wants it back. He handed over his cone to her, and happily ate her cup of ice cream, not complaining once about it.

Then last night, as we were celebrating my birthday, we were getting ready for the cake and blowing out candles. Alexis wanted to sit by me, but of course it was Haley's seat and she wanted to sit there herself. At first, I thought to myself "Oh great, here comes another round of fighting". But, it turned out not to be. When Haley saw Alexis being sad about it, she offered her chair up, and then of course David wanted to sit by me, and Alexis said, "no he wants to sit there", and then David decided he wanted to share, and offered to let her sit by him, but then when that didn't work, he moved and went and sat on the other side, and then each kid is trying to solve the problem so that somehow they ALL could sit by me. And it touched me that my kids were all trying to find a way for everyone to be happy with the outcome. That was a nice birthday present right there!

There are numerous examples like these, and I need to recognize them more, rather than concentrating on the arguing and fighting. I have great kids. What has surprised me most about Motherhood is not how much I could possibly love these rascals, but how much I learn from them. While I think we always have room for improvement, I think I'm doing a pretty good job with them. They are my world, and I love them so much.

Linds

(Warning, I sing "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree" on this video....watch out world, American Idol, here I come! Or not....)


Lindsey has me totally wrapped around her little finger (and her dad's finger, and her siblings finger....pretty much everyone she meets). Some days I worry that she's spoiled, but I am not so sure. Sure she has some of the typical 5th child syndrome... She's the baby...she gets away with some stuff that the other kids didn't... I get that (being the baby of my family afterall!). But I also see how sweet and loving she is. And it makes me worry a little less (for now....we'll talk again when she hits puberty...)

I hate for this to sound like favortism, because it's not. But I really could not have asked for a better little caboose to our family. I love my little Pookie (a nickname she has had since she was a teenie tiny peanut).

did I mention???

MY BABY IS POTTY TRAINED!!!!!!!!!!!

After 8 1/2 years of diapering, we are done! (well, we still have to tackle the night time training, but that's small potatoes.) What ever will I do with the $ saved on buying diapers!?! Hmmmm....

The sweet sights of Spring

The weather around here has perked up and we've had a few glorious days where we left the windows open and played as long as we could outside. I absolutely love spring. I wish it was a little longer of a season here in Georgia, but I will enjoy what I can. (Before we know it, it'll be muggy and hot!)

I am really looking forward to camping and the late evenings when it is still light outside at 8pm, and when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I love bbqing on the deck with friends, and trips to the park, and the smell of a freshly cut lawn. Oh, I love spring! I feel rejuvinated and have tons of projects that I want to take on. Hopefully I can FINISH them all.